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Ache!

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Writing form- An Octave


A grassland with marcescent leaves
Blowing dry harsh winds oscillating her fluttering hairs
Her shivering dry lips muttering to an ac-crossing air
Words from within those once stitched with promising love- weave  
Her close eyes filled with tears waiting for his caress touch to perceive
And a momentous touch refilled her with joy and believe that he still ardor her and care
But that was the Cobra's lick! her ears were waiting to listen three words worth for life's swear
A noxious sting of Cobra took her breath before her beloved with disguise departing lovers with grieve


P.S.- This is the first time I have written an Octave. If there is any mistake then correct me :)
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Comments

  1. Mohini PuranikMarch 7, 2012 at 10:14 PM

    Great Simran....you are nicely expressing your talent in different poetic forms...:)

    ReplyDelete
  2. VaisakhiMarch 8, 2012 at 11:36 AM

    ok this was way diffrnt than wat u usually write...amazin write...fresh though...hmm....painful in the end...nice...i really liked it...:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SimranMarch 8, 2012 at 12:40 PM

      Nice to have you Vaisakhi,
      After so long ..missed ya!

      Yep! these days I'm trying new forms of writing ..
      Thank you :)

      Delete
  3. ⁂ܓVållῐ ⁂ܓ☺March 8, 2012 at 12:28 PM

    Lovely dear...beautifully written :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. RimlyMarch 8, 2012 at 9:15 PM

    This is great! You are taking on new forms of verse writing Simran. Beautiful! Keep it up!

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.in/2012/03/aftermath.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SimranMarch 9, 2012 at 1:55 PM

      Thank you so much ,Rimly :)
      Happy to listen from you..

      Delete
  5. fantasy in practicalityMarch 9, 2012 at 12:21 AM

    very nice:)

    ReplyDelete
  6. SimranMarch 9, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    Awww.. :)
    Thanks dear <3!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Manisha BhatiaMarch 9, 2012 at 2:56 PM

    Excellent hon, u r born talented.
    This ws v deep and touching....

    Love
    MAni

    ReplyDelete
  8. SimranMarch 10, 2012 at 11:01 AM

    Thank you so much Mani for appreciating me each time :)
    Love you !! :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Jyoti MishraMarch 10, 2012 at 12:12 PM

    wow.. simply amazing.
    not only the expressions but the way u play with words..

    Loved it !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SimranMarch 16, 2012 at 10:21 PM

      Awww :)
      How sweet!
      Thank you so much Jyoti :)

      Delete
  10. sHoNaMarch 10, 2012 at 4:26 PM

    nice1

    ReplyDelete
  11. sHoNaMarch 10, 2012 at 4:27 PM

    i love your blog new look.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The PoetMarch 11, 2012 at 4:02 AM

    Hello Simran dear. Happy Saturday!
    I don't know too much about the Octave, but I'm very impressed at your willingness to try all these different forms.
    Nicely expressed.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SimranMarch 16, 2012 at 10:22 PM

      Glad you liked Andy Dear!
      Thank you so much :)

      Delete
  13. AnonymousMarch 12, 2012 at 9:38 PM

    Amazing write up dear :)

    ReplyDelete

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Either positive or negative comments are good because it shows I am still relevant. Hope you enjoyed reading here:-) !!
~Simran

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