Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Ache!

Writing form- An Octave


A grassland with marcescent leaves
Blowing dry harsh winds oscillating her fluttering hairs
Her shivering dry lips muttering to an ac-crossing air
Words from within those once stitched with promising love- weave  
Her close eyes filled with tears waiting for his caress touch to perceive
And a momentous touch refilled her with joy and believe that he still ardor her and care
But that was the Cobra's lick! her ears were waiting to listen three words worth for life's swear
A noxious sting of Cobra took her breath before her beloved with disguise departing lovers with grieve


P.S.- This is the first time I have written an Octave. If there is any mistake then correct me :)

24 comments:

  1. Great Simran....you are nicely expressing your talent in different poetic forms...:)

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    1. Thanks Mohu :)
      Happy you liked it!

      Delete
  2. ok this was way diffrnt than wat u usually write...amazin write...fresh though...hmm....painful in the end...nice...i really liked it...:)

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    1. Nice to have you Vaisakhi,
      After so long ..missed ya!

      Yep! these days I'm trying new forms of writing ..
      Thank you :)

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  3. Replies
    1. Thanks,Valli :)
      Happy to listen from you!

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  4. This is great! You are taking on new forms of verse writing Simran. Beautiful! Keep it up!

    http://rimlybezbaruah.blogspot.in/2012/03/aftermath.html

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much ,Rimly :)
      Happy to listen from you..

      Delete
  5. Excellent hon, u r born talented.
    This ws v deep and touching....

    Love
    MAni

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  6. Thank you so much Mani for appreciating me each time :)
    Love you !! :)

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  7. wow.. simply amazing.
    not only the expressions but the way u play with words..

    Loved it !!

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    Replies
    1. Awww :)
      How sweet!
      Thank you so much Jyoti :)

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  8. Hello Simran dear. Happy Saturday!
    I don't know too much about the Octave, but I'm very impressed at your willingness to try all these different forms.
    Nicely expressed.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Thoughts Of Beauty In The Stillness Of Dawn...

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    Replies
    1. Glad you liked Andy Dear!
      Thank you so much :)

      Delete

Either positive or negative comments are good because it shows I am still relevant. Hope you enjoyed reading here:-) !!
~Simran